


In Which Wilson Is, by Some Definitions, a Troglodyte

by Dee_Laundry



Category: House M.D.
Genre: Dialogue-Only, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-06-11
Updated: 2009-06-11
Packaged: 2017-10-09 16:30:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/89430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dee_Laundry/pseuds/Dee_Laundry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Dialogue only.  No spoilers for any episode past Season Three. (Speculation on the direction of Cameron and Chase's relationship.)</p>
    </blockquote>





	In Which Wilson Is, by Some Definitions, a Troglodyte

**Author's Note:**

> Dialogue only. No spoilers for any episode past Season Three. (Speculation on the direction of Cameron and Chase's relationship.)

Wilson: Cameron! Chase! Didn't expect to see you here.

Chase: Um, well, yes...

Wilson: Yes?

Cameron: House said if we came by tonight we'd get to see who this mystery woman is you've been dating.

Wilson: Mystery woman, hm?

House: I didn't say "woman."

Cameron: So, is she here?

Wilson: Is "she" here, House?

House: I didn't say "she"... and I didn't think they'd be this dense. Hey, guys, did you know Wilson's learning to play the flute?

Chase: The flute?

House: Actually, it's more of a didgeridoo.

Wilson: I'd say piccolo.

House: You're mean.

Wilson: You're obscure.

House: You're a troglodyte.

Wilson: If me Tarzan, that means you Jane.

House: Tarzan wasn't a troglodyte. He lived in a tree, not a cave.

Wilson: "Cave dweller" is only the literal translation of the word. The metaphorical definition as anyone who is primitive and brutish is well-established by --

Chase: Wait a minute. By flute, you mean, "skin flute"?

House: A-yuh.

Chase: I did _not_ need to know that.

Cameron: What are you three talking about? Flutes, instruments...

Chase: "Skin flute"? You've never heard of "playing the skin flute"?

Cameron: No, I have never heard that term. Is it like the jaw harp?

Wilson: That's "Jews' harp."

House: You'd know.

Wilson: Yes, I would, and so would you.

Cameron: Some people call it a jaw harp.

Chase: Now, I have no idea what _that_ is, but I do know skin flute.

Cameron: What's a skin flute?

Chase: Weren't you married before? Haven't we had fights about you being married before?

Cameron: The fights haven't been _about_ me being married before, they've been about --

House: PENIS.

Cameron: Excuse me?

Wilson: That's what "skin flute" means.

Chase: And playing the skin flute is --

Cameron: Oh God. And Wilson is... Ew.

House: Ew? You've never played the Australian piccolo? Chase, you are not a lucky man.

Cameron: _I've_ done it, but... Ew.

Wilson: I've started to find this conversation very insulting.

House: You're the troglodyte who started the whole "piccolo" thing.

Wilson: I was being facetious. Can we compromise on "clarinet"?

House: Why clarinet?

Wilson: Everyone knows when blowing on the clarinet the most important thing is to be careful where you put your teeth.

House: Ooh, yes.

Chase: God, yes.

Cameron: I'm going home.


End file.
